Does maternal instinct exist and do mothers always love their children?
Hatred for your daughter – what could be more strange for a normal person to perceive?But in fact, this is a very common situation when a mother hates her child, who, in her opinion, has deprived her of peace, career growth and all her previous pleasures. A woman deceives her husband, those around her, but not herself, pretending that she loves her child very much and is a wonderful mother.
Yes, she takes care of her little daughter, but not out of love or affection, but simply out of a sense of duty, fear of exposure and condemnation. For our society, maternal instinct is a self-evident concept, but according to experts, not all women are endowed with it by nature, which is confirmed by confessions on ispovedi. com of both mothers and children who were not loved in childhood:
- I’m afraid that even after giving birth I won’t have the instinct of motherhood ( https://ispovedi. com/ispoved-2018/boyus-chto-dazhe-posle-rodov-u-menya-ne-poyavitsya-instinkta-materinstva/ );
- I don’t want to ruin my life by having a child ( https://ispovedi. com/ispoved-2018/ne-xochu-portit-sebe-zhizn-rozhdeniem-rebenka/ );
- Not all women are meant to be mothers ( https://ispovedi. com/ispoved-2018/ne-vsem-zhenshhinam-dano-byt-materyu/ ).
that is why situations arise when a child is given birth simply because it is necessary, that everyone does it. Only reality dispels all doubts and hopes, but it’s too late and nothing can be brought back. You have to pretend to be a loving and caring mother in front of your husband and relatives, and when alone with your child, you have to take out all the accumulated anger on him.
The main reasons for a mother’s dislike for her children:
- Selfishness of a woman.
- Divorce from the child’s father.
- Unwanted pregnancy.
- Unfulfilled career dreams.
- Loss of material well-being.
- Birth of a child before 25 years of age.
Psychologists divide these reasons into four groups:
- Social.
- Genetic.
- Material.
- Psychological.
There is also a situation where the mother hates only the older child, but she has the warmest feelings for the younger one. You might think that the maternal instinct awakens with the second birth, but this is not so. It happens that the eldest in the family is loved, but the youngest is given very little attention, and they regret that he was even born. The reasons for this lie in remarriages, when one of the spouses has to raise someone else’s child, and in the fact that the child was born of the wrong gender than the parents wanted. But no even the most compelling reason can justify hatred of your daughter or son. This is simply beyond understanding, and such mothers need the help of a psychologist, and perhaps a psychiatrist.
Divorce also affects the attitude towards a child, when the husband leaves the family and the woman is left alone with a small child in her arms, which, in her opinion, interferes with her ability to arrange her personal life and limits her personal freedom. Single mothers are especially susceptible to such feelings. In such cases, all dissatisfaction with life is transferred to the child. Growing up, these people build the same model of behavior towards their children, but this can be avoided if the child grows up in a complete family and a loving atmosphere.
As can be seen from this article, written based on materials from the specialized women’s website Confession. COM, the problem of women’s lack of maternal instinct and the associated dislike for their own children is quite relevant, although it is still not customary to discuss this. But is it possible to find a solution to a problem by pretending that there is simply no problem as such?
